Memories of Mac n' Cheese

Macaroni and Cheese occupies a somewhat delicate place at our dining table. My husband and I both have had ups and downs with this classic American comfort food. For him it involves recurring nightmares of the gooey glop that they dared to call Mac n' Cheese and served to him in his elementary school cafeteria. Forcing himself to try one bite before escaping the teacher's watchful eye to hide under the table pretending to tie his shoelaces while actually shoveling the remaining gummy mass on his plate into the pockets of his jeans, one fistful at a time, quite inadequately sheathed in layers of paper napkins. My first Mac n' Cheese experience was in my freshman year dorm, with the "mac n' cheese in a box" variety (brand shall remain unnamed), that resulted in a gluey mess of macaroni shells held together with  cheese-like product that was an unsightly shade of orangey-yellow. Maybe I did it wrong, but I won't go there ever again.

We have since moved onto more civilized versions of macaroni and cheese, and I now delight in its endless culinary variations. This Bacon Bleu version of Mac N' Cheese is definitely a favorite of mine, and is such an easy recipe too. A classic combination of flavorful bacon, and bleu cheese. I watched a lady on television make a version of this once and have adapted it to be my own which, in this case, means fewer calories. Anyone who has watched this particular lady with the butter knows why. I also added some sliced zucchini for color, and crunch.

A few notes on the recipe:
Bleu cheese is definitely strong, so I would recommend substituting part of it with something milder if you don't like bleu cheese so strong. Also, I use the term "crumbled bacon" below but the truth is:
a) I am terrible at crumbling bacon as most of it disappears into my mouth, and
b) I don't actually "crumble" it, more like rip it into one inch chunks.

Bacon Bleu Mac N' Cheese

You will need:

2 cups uncooked elbow macaroni
2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 cup zucchini sliced to about 1/4" thick
3/4 cup milk
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup plain yogurt
1 cup bleu cheese, crumbled
1/2 cup freshly shaved Parmesan
2 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled

Cook bacon, crumble into small pieces and set aside. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add salt, then add the macaroni and cook according to package instructions; drain and set aside.
In a saucepan over medium heat combine butter, salt, and pepper. Once butter has melted, stir in milk, flour, yogurt, bleu cheese and Parmesan. Then add zucchini and stir for about 1 minute, just until heated through. Then add cooked macaroni into cheese. Lastly, toss in the crumbled bacon and give it a good stir. Serve hot. Enjoy!

getting upset over little things

It has been a day filled with upsets. Tiny things causing serious damage to my mood and general productivity for the day. There has been something irritating happening pretty steadily, just about every hour. The most upsetting of all was that one of my favorite bracelets broke. It's a cheapie but holds fond memories for me since my mom bought it for me at one of those kitschy $1 shops on a fun-filled day trip to Wisconsin Dells last year. Actually, they are three separate bracelets that I strung together and today all of a sudden it came apart…just like you see in those movies where the string breaks and all the beads fall on the floor…

Why is it that the littlest things make me the most upset and end up getting so much of my attention? Actually, it makes sense when I think about it, since it's the little things that sometimes need the most patience. And those who know me well know that I completely lack patience. Lord, give me patience to finish this week!

My First Grey Hair

Picture this. I wake up last Saturday to a beautiful sunrise outside the bedroom window, Ryan is next to me, the dogs are whining to be let outside, everything is normal. I wash my face wash in cold water, brush my teeth, and race off to the gym. I take my jacket off, and adjust my headband in the locker room. And there she was...

In the dull, unflattering, fluorescent light, perched atop my head, sticking out from under my headband, and staring back at me in the mirror. My first grey hair. Twice as thick as the rest of my hair, and twice as straight as the rest of my hair. I knew it would happen someday. But, at the tender age of twenty-six???

I had two choices. Fight or flight. Panic was slowly starting to set in. But after my workout (great timing to relieve some stress), and a mild meltdown at home in front of Ryan, I decided to embrace it. Grey hair. Big deal. I knew a girl in school who had at least ten or fifteen grey hairs and she was only sixteen years old. I could be facing much worse things, I suppose. And, plenty of people have reminded me that it has nothing to do with age.

So, here's Marie.

Yes, I named it. It is part of the embracing strategy. And anyone who has ever watched Everybody Loves Raymond will  know why I picked that name. Well, Marie and I are off to begin our day now.

The Two Tragedies Of Shredded Wheat

My husband Ryan always says "there are two tragedies in life...getting what you want, and not getting what you want." I expect he heard someone say it, or read it somewhere. But this makes sense, and I love hearing him say it. Not just because Ryan is very wise for remembering it but because it is true. I'll explain in a minute.

For years and years I have been coaxing him to get up an an insane hour (4:55 a.m.) and come to the gym with me in the early mornings. I don't know what it was, but a few weeks ago, something inside him snapped and he made up his mind to tackle a personal challenge head on. So, as of a couple of weeks ago, he has been getting up early in the mornings and coming to the gym with me, three times a week. I am so proud of him. This is the 'getting what I want' part of the story.

Now, he is also motivating himself to eat better. So, we talked about various things we would do to make sure he gets more fiber, cut back on fat, and making sure we always have breakfast in the morning. I told him that I used to eat Kashi cereal pretty regularly back in my college/single years, and he said that sounded good. So, this week Ryan went to the grocery store, and proudly returned with a box of...Shredded Wheat. And he exclaims to me, "no fat and 8 grams of fiber, thank you very much!" And I go "what happened to Kashi!?" You may have guessed by now that this is the 'not getting what I want' part of the story.

For those of you don't know what Shredded Wheat is or have not eaten the cereal before, it's not hard to imagine. It tastes exactly how it sounds. But, we resolved to finish the box. Actually, HE resolved to finish the box. I am just eating it because a) I can't stand the thought of wasting food, and b) I can't stand the thought of the man I love eating cardboard-like material all by his lonesome self. Besides, 8 grams of fiber in the morning is inherently a good idea, regardless of what form it is in. I can respect that.

So there you have it, folks. Two tragedies.

The best news though, is that the box is almost half empty now.

Coincidences And Whispers

There are no coincidences. Do you believe that?

This story began earlier this year. I attended a Leadership conference this summer and heard one of the speakers talk about "whispers." The idea that God whispers to you. That mysterious coincidence, the way some one or some thing catches your attention and prompts you to act in some way at just the right time or in just the right place. I didn't really buy it at the time. It sounded like a great idea, but I needed to experience it to believe it.

The story continued last week, when my husband proudly exclaimed that he got a free download of the book "The Power Of  A Whisper", by the very speaker that I heard at the conference. The kindle edition was available for free for a limited time, so Ryan jumped on the chance to get it for free. We started reading the book together, and I became intrigued.
I have always had a somewhat shaky belief in the saying that there are NO coincidences. I love the idea of it, but I was not one hundred percent sure. I think that one really cannot be certain, until it happens to them.

Here's what sealed it for me. Over the past couple of days I have been dealing with feelings of rejection that I have not felt since high school. This is an uncomfortable "place" for most people, especially me, and it hit me particularly hard this morning. I wondered if I was being childish. Or maybe it was God's way of telling me to focus more on him than on how much I matter to my friends. So I processed it, let myself feel the sadness, and silently sent up a prayer for some sign or some way of knowing that God does care for my friendships. Just some kind of validation in the friendships facet of my life. I didn't give it another thought after that.

And He did come through. An hour later, I got an email from a friend asking if I wanted to get together this afternoon for a movie. Coincidence?

God does whisper. Maybe not to me, not today, but to others so they can turn around and be there for someone else.

Mother Daughter Goodbyes

We had a fabulous time together, my mom and I. First, a few weeks in Wisconsin, a proper mix of Southwest Wisconsin tourism and just "being" at home. And, then, over the past several days an immensely fun time in Seattle. Both, with family and friends and by ourselves, captivated by all that the western WA area has to offer. And then came goodbye. Here is the very last picture from our trip, at the Seattle airport, before the hugs and tears.

Goodbyes are difficult for most people. And they are especially difficult for me. Living nine thousand miles away from my family, and having been to or through airports several times in the past nine years, you would think that I have gotten the hang of it by now, but goodbyes just seem to get harder each time. Especially the teary-eyed ones at the airport.

This brings back memories of the first time I said goodbye to my family. My mom and grandparents were such a key part of my identity and my childhood, that I thought leaving when I first did nine years ago would be hard. But, oddly enough, it wasn't hard the first time. I think it is because, back then, I was excited to leave the people I once needed, people who made me feel comfortable, and go out into the world to make my own way, and discover my own identity. I think I've done that now. I'm still figuring out some things. And it has not exactly shaped up to be what I had in mind. But I have a unique identity, and a valuable life of my own here. And as a result, saying goodbye to my mom has become so tough. Not because I "need" her in my life, but because I want her to be a part of it. And I miss her dearly.

The brave little gerbera daisy

I got a potted plant this week. So, yes, I am experimenting with yet another house plant. This is a sad paradox, since I am still blocking out memories of the house plant disaster of 2006. (I had purchased an orchid plant at an auction in my workplace, and it did not bloom like the guy swore it would. In fact, it died a quick and quite an unnatural death. Despite my efforts to revive it, even with sound advice from horticultural experts on the internet, I succumbed to the idea that I should probably never have a house plant, ever again.)

But here’s the thing. This new plant is a gorgeous gerbera daisy – that my husband brought to me at work, for no occasion whatsoever, but to simply make me feel appreciated and loved, so HA! – and it came with detailed instructions on how to care for it. And, it has survived three whole days! I even watered it twice. It has two flowers, one already in bloom. The other one was just a bud a couple of days ago and looks like it is slowly blooming. Time will tell.

the first Sunday in Fall

Fall is almost here. I know this because of two things: 1) there are some trees down the street from our house starting to get the slightest tinges of yellow, and 2) the crab-apple tree in our backyard, burdened with the weight of hundreds of tiny green apples, now ripe for the picking. So guess what we spent most of today doing! If you were thinking "pie", that's right. I woke up bright and early, and took a few minutes before getting dressed for church to find an apple pie recipe. In the mode of reaching for the stars, I thought I'd try the Emeril Lagasse pie crust recipe too. Ryan had already picked about an armload full of apples earlier in the week. When we got home from church, we were on a mission to make pie. And Ryan helped! I was so excited during the whole process that I called Amma, completely ignoring the time difference, I just had to share the pie-making experience with her! The pie turned out incredibly well, and was so delicious too! So what if it was my first time making any kind of pie crust and the whole "lacing" on top ended up looking slightly sloppy? It was still very tasty! Later in the evening we made two more and froze them. And we are already planning which night this week we will make more. It's a good thing to make use of the abundant provision in the backyard, no? Here is a picture from what I have now labeled "Apple Pie Sunday":



In the afternoon, we took the dogs to the park so they could run around and exhaust themselves of at least some of their boundless energy. It ended up being a two-hour outing but the strategy worked! They were very peaceful the rest of the day. So were we! A fun day, and weekend in all.